What can 10 years hold?

July 6, 2002

Today Dustin and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary and I am amazed at how much the past 10 years have held for us.

Dustin and I were married on a hot July morning (102 degrees) in the Nan Elliot Memorial Rose Garden in Alton followed by an outdoor (what were we thinking?!) reception in the pavilions by the tennis courts.  It was a small wedding with only our close family and best friends present.  Dustin and I were both 20....our son Tristan was 8 months.  We honeymooned overnight at the H.S. Clay House bed and breakfast in Augusta, MO.  The following day we enjoyed a reception at my parents house with church friends, family friends and additional family present.

We lived in Godfrey in the Preis Lane apartments.  Dustin worked for Delta as a baggage handler, I worked at Party Magic.  By the time we celebrated our 2nd anniversary we had added Kaelan to the family and moved to a little rental house on Spaulding in Alton--we were 21!

Soon after, Dustin took a new job working at True Manufacturing in O'Fallon, MO while I began my studies in art at SIUE.  Dustin took a second job working as an independent contractor for Lowes while I tried to add in some additional shifts at Party Magic between the kids and my studies.  We were broke, we were stressed, we were running in a million different directions......but we were happy. 

Right before my junior year at SIUE we purchased our first home just blocks from my parents in Alton and found out that we were expecting again.  I set aside my position at Party Magic to focus more on home and completing another semester of school.  Dustin continued to plug away at True and picked up a different side job pushing carts and loading trucks at Home Depot.  

In January 2006 we welcomed Addie into our family.  We had just celebrated our 3rd anniversary and were 23 years old.  I took a semester off school, but started back during the summer session and graduated with my degree in Art History in December 2006.

We had big dreams. This was finally the time we thought we could break free financially, live big, have a new home and nice things.  You see, the plan was for me to go to work full time (since I had the shiny new degree) while Dustin stayed home with the kiddos.  While I looked for my dream job I bided my time working at Party Magic.  Tristan was now in Kindergarten, Kaelan was in preschool and Addie spent much of her time with Grandma.

We knew we were done having children.  Afterall, how could I work, how could we have everything we ever wanted if we kept having kids? We made the decision permenant.......

God had another plan for our family.  We were no longer the perfectly happy couple.  We squabbled and fought at home, but kept up the pretty face for our friends and family.  I began attending church at EFMC....Dustin stayed home. 

Little by little though Dustin's heart was softening and by our 5th anniversary we were worshiping as a family!  Dustin began a new job at Sensient Color Technologies and I continued my part time job at Party Magic. 

Dustin's was not the only heart that was changing.  Two years after making the decision to have no more children I knew that we had done something horribly, awfully wrong.  I was scared to share my heart with Dustin, fearing he would be angry or laugh at me.  Finally though I knew I had to tell him.....and to my surprise he was feeling the same thing.  Of course, us being us, we thought we could just take matters into our own hands.  We found a doctor, booked the appt, traveled to Oklahoma and hoped for the best...... God's plans were not our plans.  We were heartbroken.  Why was there this void if we were not meant to have more children?

By our 6th anniversary we had decided to get the ball rolling with foster care, began homeschooling and I was a full time stay-at-home mom.  It took us 2 full years to receive our license, but 2 months after receiving it we had received our precious Gizmo!  If we had been able to do it our way we would have missed out on one of the biggest gifts of our lives!  We were 29 and just celebrated 8 years of marriage.

This is 10 years for us.  On our wedding I would have thought you were crazy if you told me the life I would have in 10 years would look like this.  We still live in Alton, I stay at home with our 4 kiddos and homeschool, Dustin still works at Sensient and our life is full of family gatherings, baseball, soccer, dance and laundry (always laundry!)--but it is just the life I want. 

Today we can see that God is good...always.  We have made some awful decisions and we have some big regrets.  We have been incredibly stupid financially, we have rushed into huge decisions, we have not been patient, we have fought over trivial mattters, we have lost sight of what God wants for our family.  There is not a day that goes by that I am not reminded of God's grace and forgiveness.

Today I am grateful that I am able to spend every day with my best friend and our 4 amazing children.  We are blessed to be able to live close to family and celebrate traditions, birthdays and holidays.  We have great friends and an amazing church family. Dustin is a hard worker and provides well for us, while I have finally found peace staying at home.  Our home is full of laughter and learning and chaos and fun.  Dustin and I had to learn quick and grow up fast, but we are learning and growing together and committed to stick it out----no matter what. 

We are both eternally grateful for the amazing examples that our parents have set for us in how to make a marriage work.  As the oldest in both of our families we have seen a lot of the adjustments that families have to make over the years and through it all our parents showed us love for eachother and their families.  They have made a huge difference in our marriage and our families and I couldn't imagine doing this without their love and support.

In 10 years we have moved 3 times, worked 6 jobs in total, welcomed 4 children into our family, added 1 sister-in-law and 2 brother-in-laws, lost 1 great-grandma and 2 grandpas, welcomed 1 niece and 1 nephew, traveled to South Carolina, Florida, Arkansas, Maryland, Wisconsin, Chicago, Pennsylvania, Tennessee and Missouri and have made too many memories to count. 

I love you "infinity plus two" Dustin and I can't wait to adventure with you for the next 10 years and beyond.  Thank you for being my calm in the midst of the storm, my confidant, my friend.....

It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Lamentations 3: 22-23

Life is Good.....At the Beach

4 kids, 2 parents, 1 pop-up camper, 1 very full Suburban (affectionately known as "Sully") and 17 hours on the road.  This year our family headed to Assateague Island, Maryland for a week of "beach-camping!"  It was a new experience for all of us and one that we can hardly wait to repeat. 

The first leg of our journey took us a little over 9 hours to Pittsburgh, PA to stay with Dustin's aunt, uncle and 2 little cousins.  Their hospitality was so warm and inviting that it really made our first night of vacation so much more than "just trying to get to the beach."  The kids got to reunite with cousins, play with their husky dogs, swim, chase the cats, watch movies and stay up late.

--Kaelan with his cousin Turner

--Tristan with his "dream dog"

We started out early the next morning to finish the last 7 hours of our trip.  Make that 9 hours of our trip after a 2 hour delay at the Bay Bridge........

Welcome to Assateague State Park--our home away from home for the week. 

The first morning we were at Assateague this was what greeted us on the beach about 20 yards from our campsite! 

If you didn't know already, Assateague Island is where the wild ponies run free and about which the book "Misty of Chincoteague" was written by Maugerite Henry in 1947.  One of the joys of homeschooling is that we were able to fully enjoy learning about the history of Assateague and the mystery surrounding it well before our actual trip.  The kids (and Dustin and I) were so excited to see the ponies roaming freely both on the beach and in the campground and kept a careful watch out for ones that might remind us of "Misty" or her mother, "Phantom."

Most of our days were spent combing our beach for shells, splashing in the waves, soaking up the sun and building some impressive sandcastles. There is just something to be said for living mainly outside, cooking simple meals over a fire together as a family and just enjoying being together rather than feeling the need to race off to the next event or tourist location. 

That being said, we did enjoy one very rainy, windy day at nearby Ocean City exploring the old wooden boardwalk!

 --Addie trying on crazy hats at the hat store

--The kids with their bucket of famous "Thrasher" french fries

 --The "vintage" postcard that greeted us on the boardwalk

--The spectacular kites on the boardwalk/beach outside of the kite store!  Some of these kits were 40+ ft in length

 Other than our beach and Ocean City, we had fun exploring Chincoteague Island, Tom's Cove and the neighboring towns of Pokomoke, Snow Hill and Berlin.  Our vacation was simple, low-key and filled with lots of "together" time!

Of course, our family can never do anything "simply" so we ended our vacation by adding an extra day at the beach--after the our beloved "Sully's" starter went out and left us stranded right as we were trying to leave to come home!

Our final, unexpected, day turned out to be the most beautiful one yet and we made many new friends through the process.  One more little reminder that I am not the one in control, but I serve a God who is!

For more information on staying at Assateague check out:

*www.assateagueisland.com/

*www.dnr.state.md.us/publiclands/eastern/assateaguecamping.asp

*ococean.com/

*delmarvadiscoverycenter.org/

*www.berlinchamber.org/

*www.chincoteagueisland.org/attractions.htm







Having a party--Angry Birds style

Birthdays are kind of a big deal in our family.  Not so much in terms of large amounts of gifts or guests, but rather in the way the day is tailor made for the individual birthday person.  Growing up, my mom always made our birthdays extra special, even when there was not much to make do with. 

A theme was chosen--thought over, talked about and decided with plenty of advanced notice by each of us kiddos.  Mom then set about creating a whole design around our idea. Cakes (or in my case pie or cheesecakes) were always homemade (except for the rare DQ ice cream cake).  The decorations were never over the top, but reflected the theme perfectly.  Family was always the first on the list of invites, followed by just our closest friends. 

I still to this day look forward to my birthday.  My husband now helps with the "plans", but my mom is always involved.  Usually there is a favorite meal and dessert made for each of the "grown kiddos" on our birthdays.  I still feel special and very, very loved on my birthday.  Amidst all the craziness of day to day life it is still nice to have a day just to myself.

This is what I seek to do when I plan a birthday for each of my children.  It is not about the presents or number of people that come.  Their special day is all about being celebrated for exactly who they are at a very special time in their lives.

Today is Kaelan's 9th Birthday. Our family always lets the birthday child choose a special meal on his or her birthday but today we made a bit of an exception.  We stayed home for lunch but afterwards we went out for dessert at a new little ice cream place in town called "Chill Out."  They thought it was so cool that we were there to celebrate a birthday that they even gave KK a whipped cream goatee!!!

*Kaelan getting ready to blow the candle out on his custom sundae!

Kaelan was lucky this year and was able to have his birthday party this past weekend--theme Angry Bird.  We had his party at one of his absolute favorite places ever--my grandparents farm.

Kaelan asked for an Angry Bird cake so I did my best to deliver.  First I stacked and frosted 2 chocolate sheet cakes for the base adding green icing grass embellishments.  The birds and pigs are donut holes dipped in melted, dyed white chocolate.  Their eyes are piped frosting and their beaks, feathers, ears and nose are Jolly Rancher chew candies that I softened up in the microwave and hand shaped.  I wish they would have turned out a little bit smoother, but Kaelan thought they looked great.  For the pigs perch I used chocolate peanut butter wafer sticks, chocolate wafer cookies and rice krispie treats held together with icing and toothpicks.

To continue the theme I also used some punch balloons found at the dollar store with some hand cut cardstock embellishments to make the birds features--I made one green king pig and a yellow, red and blue bird.  The kids had a blast playing with them until the unfortunately popped due to sticks on the ground and the heat.

Kaelan's favorite gift this year was this awesome lizard book, supplies for a lizard house and a gift card to get his very own leopard gecko when we return home from vacation!!!  As we have a theme of naming all of the animals in our home after Disney characters, the name of this little lizard has become quite the topic of conversation.  I vote for Wall-E....cause it is a lizard that clings on walls!

Kaelan had his friend Caden and his brother Carter to his party and of course his brother, sisters and cousins.  The kids had a great day playing together.  There was an epic water gun fight followed by exploring the pond's edge and plenty of fishing.  The weather was perfect, the company amazing and the day enjoyed by all.

Happy 9th Birthday Kaelan!

Kaelan Turns 9

Tomorrow Kaelan turns 9.  My Kaelan boy has always been in a rush for everything--including entering this world! 

After a scary morning at the hospital having my firstborn, Tristan's, forehead glued shut (run in with a chair in the church nursery--the chair won!) I thought my excitement was over for a while.  Little did I know that the excitement had only just begun.  At 7 the next evening my water broke--3 weeks early (yes, Kaelan, you may blame your early birth on your brother)!  By 10:30 pm on June 6, Kaelan Quinn had arrived--6 lb 6 oz and healthy as could be!

*Our little family celebrating the birth of Kaelan

Kaelan, you have always carved your own unique path, made big messes, tackled adventures, found a friend in any situation, and brought endless laughter to our family.  You have charmed ladies at the supermarket with your out-of-control curly hair and regularly have toddlers clinging to your legs just hoping for you to play with them.  There is no problem that is too big for you to solve with a creative solution.  Silliness come naturally to you, as does your incredible knack for sports (definitely given to you by your father--not me!)  I love how you love people no matter their situation or appearance--young and old alike.  Your generosity amazes me regularly. I have learned through you the beauty that can be found in the glistening wings of a cicada and the patterns on a caterpillar.  You, my son, have inspired me to slow down and enjoy the wonders that God has given us all around.

Kaelan, I can hardly believe that you are actually turning 9 tomorrow!  From my little kiddo stomping around in his favorite neon green Croc boots telling me "You smell good mommy" to my boy who can find coins in any and all vending machines, make the whole family laugh without hardly trying, find adventure around every corner and give the biggest, bestest bear hugs ever.

 

Daddy and I have prayed (and sang) this verse to you since you were very small: Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous? Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

As you grow, don't lose sight of the strength of your 9 year old convictions.  You are more courageous than you know.  Don't give up--use your amazing creativity. You wear your heart on your sleeve--and that is ok--keep loving and caring, it is what makes you you!  You are my dreamer and think you can tackle any problem, right any wrong, feed all the homeless--keep it up--maybe you can!  Be a best friend to your brother and sisters--no matter what! Keep making messes (just clean them up--please!)--you never know what you may discover just by getting messy! Don't ever stop giving me your trademark hugs--mornings and bedtimes just aren't the same without them. 

"Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go"

...and your Momma and Daddy, and brother, and sisters, and grandmas and grandpas and aunts and uncles and cousins and.....

for you are loved Kaelan--all the way to the moon and back and bigger than a dinosaur or elephant or mountain or whale and infinity plus two!



Serving Alton--little by little....

I have lived in Alton most of my life and really do love it here--yes, even with all its quirks and peculiarities.  I love that I can get the best roast and ham salad at Schwegels, that Janet at Hayner Public Library knows each member of our family by name, that the Upper Alton postmaster, Bill, knows how each member of my family is related and who has already been to the office that day, that my parents and my sister's family both live within walking distance of my home, that I still see childhood friends while shopping at Target and can still take my kiddos to some of my favorite parks like Haskell and Gordon Moore. 

This is why, in the past year or so, our family has really felt a burden for this city and the people who live here.  Our family is part of a very missionally minded church at Emmanuel Free Methodist. On top of that, we decided to join a small group within our church of people desiring to reach out to and serve the people of Alton--just getting to know our neighbors and be involved in what is happening here.

One of Dustin and I personal goals within this bigger mission is teaching our children to be missionaries in their daily lives.  I grew up thinking that in order to be a missionary I had to risk my life, learn a new language, eat bugs and travel halfway around the world.  The reality is that I should have been being a missionary, right here, all along.

An opportunity arose, via email from our church, regarding a summer meal program to feed the children of our community who would usually receive free or discounted lunches through the school district.  Instantly I knew that this was something we could commit to as a family.  This was something that would have a direct impression on the kiddos and be able to be participated in by each one of them. 

This week, on a chilly and drizzly Thursday, we set out for Main Street Methodist Church to hand out sack lunches.  What a simple thing to do--sit outside on benches and wait for people to come--no questions asked, just come.

The kiddos knew what we were going to do and were rather excited about meeting new friends more than anything else.  They know, in their little kid way, that there was a time not so long ago that a program like this would have been very valuable to our family.  Dustin and I know that it is only by the grace of God that he has a good job and is able to provide for our family. 

The summer program is called TWIGS (ummm, still not really sure what exactly that stands for) and is being enacted all summer long at various locations around Alton. 

Our family is committed to being a part of our community.  We want to know our neighbors and for them to know us.  Handing out these lunches once a week is such a small way for us to stand together as a family and show Alton that we do care. 

Memorial Day Weekend

I love Memorial Day.  I love living in Alton on Memorial Day.  I love the symbolism, the patriotism, the coming together of families for BBQ's and fun--basically I love everything about this day with no presents or trees or costumes or candy!  Here in Alton we have the longest continuously running parade on Memorial Day--145 years!!!!  I grew up walking to the parade and sitting at the corner of College and Main--right by the laundromat--and that is where you can find the family and I on Memorial Day still. 

Walking to the parade is a tradition in and of itself.  I have almost always lived close enough to walk--Clawson, Brown, Spaulding and Jackson. This year while walking, Tristan wanted to know if we would be at the same spot as "always."  When I told him we would because that is where our family has "always" sat he was relieved, letting me know that we "always" had to sit there for every parade, every single year!  Gotta love that firstborn who loves tradition as much as his momma!

"The Girls" waiting patiently in the heat for the parade to begin.

Clara, with her cute little pigtails, watching the flag pass by.

Of course the parade was not the only event of our Memorial Day weekend.  Even though Dustin ended up having to work both Saturday and Sunday I was bound and determined to make the most of our time.  Of course, when I am "bound and determined" it never seems to come out quite the way I imagined it.....

Saturday I enlisted the kids help in cleaning the basement with the promise of a fun evening to follow if we could whip the basement into shape.  Everyone started out great but the labor force quickly fizzled to me, and "Tiny" trying to "help" by taking out whatever I put up.  Dustin came home dead tired, the kids had lost sight of the goal and mommma was frustrated.  The night however still proved to be salvagable, so after some encouragement from my husband and some re-motivating for the kids the basement got cleaned and the fun could begin! 

We made homemade, individualized pizzas and played Disney Universe on the X-Box!  The kids had pepperoni and bacon pizzas while Dustin and I went a bit gourmet with an alfredo sauce, provolone, grilled chicken, bacon and basil pizza-YUM!

 Other highlights of the weekend included learning how to set up Dad's pop up camper for our upcoming trip to Maryland, enjoying an afternoon BBQ with most of the family on Memorial Day and learning how to take the camper back down and hook it up to our vechicle.

Happy Memorial Day!

A special thank you on this day to my brother Nathanael Rayborn serving in the Navy and my cousin Matthew Golliday serving in the Army.





What a week and a half!

I feel as though I have just finished running a week and a half long marathon!  Usually our home life is a bit less chaotic, a little more structured and with a whole lot less running...but, with the warm weather has come new activities to both enjoy and try to keep up with.  Last week started with two--yes, two--days of dance pictures for Addison.  May not sound like much, but getting a 6 year old into costume and full hair and makeup is no laughing matter......but I love it!

Addie and her friend Abby deciding which "pose" they like best

For tap--"You've Got A Friend In Me"

Waiting, and waiting, and waiting.....

For jazz--"Car Wash"

Her favorite....with a "bump" and a side bun just like the big girls have!

For acro--"Freeze Frame"

The rest of our week was filled with a little bit of school (and sketching salt-water fish at PetCo!!!), trip to the library, "Gizmo's" 18 mo doctor appt, dance (of course), plenty of baseball and book club!

The fun didn't end there though--Saturday both of the boys had their first ball games.  Tristan is playing his first year of kid pitch with Team Vipers and Kaelan is on his first year of machine pitch! 

Tristan also had team pictures bright and early Saturday morning!  Aren't they handsome... Most of his team has been together since kindergarten and it is amazing how grown up they have all become..way too fast.

As soon as the games were done we were off to Holden, MO to see my youngest brother-in-law graduate from high school.  I got the wonderful joy of driving as Dustin was coming off of a double and was going on only about 2 hours of sleep.  Thankfully the kids were all tired out from the busy morning and slept most of the 4 1/2 hours there. 

Dustin and my brother-in-law Zach..who just so happens to be a super talented artist!!

My dad has always told me that time goes by so quickly once you have kids.  I see this in my daily life but was so impressed with the fleeting nature of time over the weekend. I have known Zach since he was 6...and now here he is all grown up and graduated and off on grand adventures.  To think: in 8 short years Tristan will be at this same place in his life...oh, time slow down!

The kids enjoyed time at Grandma and Grandpa's house chasing the dogs and cats, crawling under a fence to get to the horses (Yikes!) and collecting tree frogs as "pets."

Kaelan and his "pet"

"Gizmo" and Sonny--the horse.

We got home from our trip Monday morning only to leave an hour and a half later for homeschool group! 

And we're off.....

Our dear friends the Rush's came in this week so the time between dance and fingerprints and baseball has been spent with Heather and Ben.

Boys will be boys......

Tristan, Kaelan and Ben "battling" in the backyard

Today included a trip to the zoo with 17 kiddos and 6 moms--all long-time friends of Heather and her family! More fun for the kids than the mommas I would have to say! 

And that has been our week and a half...although busy, I love summer, my family, my friends and my extraordinary ordinary life!