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| July 6, 2002 |
Today Dustin and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary and I am amazed at how much the past 10 years have held for us.
Dustin and I were married on a hot July morning (102 degrees) in the Nan Elliot Memorial Rose Garden in Alton followed by an outdoor (what were we thinking?!) reception in the pavilions by the tennis courts. It was a small wedding with only our close family and best friends present. Dustin and I were both 20....our son Tristan was 8 months. We honeymooned overnight at the H.S. Clay House bed and breakfast in Augusta, MO. The following day we enjoyed a reception at my parents house with church friends, family friends and additional family present.
We lived in Godfrey in the Preis Lane apartments. Dustin worked for Delta as a baggage handler, I worked at Party Magic. By the time we celebrated our 2nd anniversary we had added Kaelan to the family and moved to a little rental house on Spaulding in Alton--we were 21!
Soon after, Dustin took a new job working at True Manufacturing in O'Fallon, MO while I began my studies in art at SIUE. Dustin took a second job working as an independent contractor for Lowes while I tried to add in some additional shifts at Party Magic between the kids and my studies. We were broke, we were stressed, we were running in a million different directions......but we were happy.
Right before my junior year at SIUE we purchased our first home just blocks from my parents in Alton and found out that we were expecting again. I set aside my position at Party Magic to focus more on home and completing another semester of school. Dustin continued to plug away at True and picked up a different side job pushing carts and loading trucks at Home Depot.
In January 2006 we welcomed Addie into our family. We had just celebrated our 3rd anniversary and were 23 years old. I took a semester off school, but started back during the summer session and graduated with my degree in Art History in December 2006.
We had big dreams. This was finally the time we thought we could break free financially, live big, have a new home and nice things. You see, the plan was for me to go to work full time (since I had the shiny new degree) while Dustin stayed home with the kiddos. While I looked for my dream job I bided my time working at Party Magic. Tristan was now in Kindergarten, Kaelan was in preschool and Addie spent much of her time with Grandma.
We knew we were done having children. Afterall, how could I work, how could we have everything we ever wanted if we kept having kids? We made the decision permenant.......
God had another plan for our family. We were no longer the perfectly happy couple. We squabbled and fought at home, but kept up the pretty face for our friends and family. I began attending church at EFMC....Dustin stayed home.
Little by little though Dustin's heart was softening and by our 5th anniversary we were worshiping as a family! Dustin began a new job at Sensient Color Technologies and I continued my part time job at Party Magic.
Dustin's was not the only heart that was changing. Two years after making the decision to have no more children I knew that we had done something horribly, awfully wrong. I was scared to share my heart with Dustin, fearing he would be angry or laugh at me. Finally though I knew I had to tell him.....and to my surprise he was feeling the same thing. Of course, us being us, we thought we could just take matters into our own hands. We found a doctor, booked the appt, traveled to Oklahoma and hoped for the best...... God's plans were not our plans. We were heartbroken. Why was there this void if we were not meant to have more children?
By our 6th anniversary we had decided to get the ball rolling with foster care, began homeschooling and I was a full time stay-at-home mom. It took us 2 full years to receive our license, but 2 months after receiving it we had received our precious Gizmo! If we had been able to do it our way we would have missed out on one of the biggest gifts of our lives! We were 29 and just celebrated 8 years of marriage.
This is 10 years for us. On our wedding I would have thought you were crazy if you told me the life I would have in 10 years would look like this. We still live in Alton, I stay at home with our 4 kiddos and homeschool, Dustin still works at Sensient and our life is full of family gatherings, baseball, soccer, dance and laundry (always laundry!)--but it is just the life I want.
Today we can see that God is good...always. We have made some awful decisions and we have some big regrets. We have been incredibly stupid financially, we have rushed into huge decisions, we have not been patient, we have fought over trivial mattters, we have lost sight of what God wants for our family. There is not a day that goes by that I am not reminded of God's grace and forgiveness.
Today I am grateful that I am able to spend every day with my best friend and our 4 amazing children. We are blessed to be able to live close to family and celebrate traditions, birthdays and holidays. We have great friends and an amazing church family. Dustin is a hard worker and provides well for us, while I have finally found peace staying at home. Our home is full of laughter and learning and chaos and fun. Dustin and I had to learn quick and grow up fast, but we are learning and growing together and committed to stick it out----no matter what.
We are both eternally grateful for the amazing examples that our parents have set for us in how to make a marriage work. As the oldest in both of our families we have seen a lot of the adjustments that families have to make over the years and through it all our parents showed us love for eachother and their families. They have made a huge difference in our marriage and our families and I couldn't imagine doing this without their love and support.
In 10 years we have moved 3 times, worked 6 jobs in total, welcomed 4 children into our family, added 1 sister-in-law and 2 brother-in-laws, lost 1 great-grandma and 2 grandpas, welcomed 1 niece and 1 nephew, traveled to South Carolina, Florida, Arkansas, Maryland, Wisconsin, Chicago, Pennsylvania, Tennessee and Missouri and have made too many memories to count.
I love you "infinity plus two" Dustin and I can't wait to adventure with you for the next 10 years and beyond. Thank you for being my calm in the midst of the storm, my confidant, my friend.....
It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
Lamentations 3: 22-23
